This weekend is the big ride and my mind is mush. The stress of getting everything right is both useful and useless. I know in the end everything will run smoothly but the stress in a way helps me to make sure I get to that end; that successful end.

I have such a draw to this event. Many are less then obvious. The biggest of the less then obvious reasons is the concept of the ‘Pan Mass’, literally translated a ride across the state. But as an endurance purest the fact that its not actually across the entire state bums me out. Maybe next year I’ll take a day off and do just that, start at the western end the day before and ride to Sturbridge. It’s fun to dream. So I’ll have to settle for 192 miles over two days… and there in lies the problem, notice the word ‘settle’. The 101 mile training ride that I did 3 weeks ago has me in a completely different mind set. In a way the first day of 111 miles is less of a challenge, so in that spirit I have made a new one.

I came up with it in the latter ends of that long ride. It was based on something that has resonated ever since I heard it. Have you ever had those conversations where a pointless comment just sticks, and your mind revisits it over and over again?

When I first meet Chris Doktor he made that very, very subtle comment. Chris is the Captain of the team I’m riding for/with this weekend. On a side note, it’s an honor to be on the team and I thank him more then he’ll ever know for inviting me. He was giving me insight into the ride, the process, all the good info you get from someone that’s been there. We were talking about arrival times, start times and when you have to wake up. He then pointed down to our fellow teammate Chandler and said with wide eyes, ‘He’ll get to Bourne before Noon’ or something to that effect. Just like dreams my mind is fuzzy of the exact wording but the message was succinct. Getting there by Noon is a pretty sweet accomplishment. That’s 111 miles in less then 6 hours.

I want to be that guy. I want that challenge. I what this to HURT. I have daemons to battle on Saturday and the more intense the fight the greater the gain.

The book I read to prep for my first marathon 8 years ago stressed over and over again how you should never place a time goal for your first big race. I did, I failed and it was the best thing I could have done. The failure of breaking 4 hours (by 8 minutes) lead to more training, more effort and a 3:30:00 less then a year later (for the record I missed my goal for that race by 1 single second). The difference of that first marathon and this ride is making the goal public. I welcome the pressure.

To all of you that have sponsored me, thank you. You have done a wonderful thing. To all of you that haven’t don’t be turned away by the large sum I’ve amassed. Every dollar counts, it’s not about my total, it’s about the possibility of your donation favorably impacting a life that has been turned upside down. It gives me great joy to know I’ve done something that could cause a positive chain of events, a cure, an extension of a study, the procurement of better equipment or the hiring of that favorite nurse that your son takes about all those months later.

To Ethan, Jessica Ross, Tim & Charlie, this weekend is for you!

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